
Parents can play an important role in supporting their child who is experiencing cyberbullying. They are often the first to notice signs of an abnormal situation, such as sudden anxiety, negative emotions, or reluctance to return to school. Parents should never underestimate the importance of their emotional support and listening. Effectively intervening by respecting the child’s pace is crucial to helping them in their problematic situation.
How to help a child experiencing cyberbullying
Children often turn to their parents when they experience cyberbullying, hoping that talking to them could improve the situation. Here are some tips if your child is facing this problem.
Stay calm
First, it is important to stay calm and avoid any overreaction, such as completely removing access to social media. This fear might deter your child from seeking your help. These platforms play a major role in young people’s social lives, and being deprived of access could isolate them further and intensify their feeling of loneliness.
Listen
Listen to your child and take the situation seriously. A child is more likely to confide if they feel heard and supported. Knowing that their parents are there for them and will help find solutions can relieve some of the psychological burden of cyberbullying. They are no longer facing the situation alone because you are there to support them.
Document the cyberbullying
Ask your child to show you all the bullying content (text and phone messages, social media posts, images, videos, and instant messages) they have received. Make copies or take screenshots that can serve as evidence if needed.
Ensure your child cuts all contact with their bullies
They should not respond and, if possible, block their profiles on social media or delete them from their contact list. They should do the same with their phone numbers if they receive unwanted calls. Cyberbullies should no longer be able to contact your child.
Report the cyberbullying
Most social media platforms have policies on cyberbullying and offer ways to report these situations. If cyberbullying affects your child’s school life, report the facts to the school administration or the school’s violence and bullying prevention officer. Schools have anti-bullying and violence plans and will intervene.
If cyberbullying involves violence, physical threats, or if the harassment makes your child feel in danger, it is important to report the situation to the police.
How to help a child who is cyberbullying others
If you learn that your child is engaging in cyberbullying, know that this does not mean you are a bad parent or that your child is a bad person. Many factors can contribute to this behavior. However, as a parent, it is your responsibility to act to stop these wrongful actions. We are all capable of making mistakes, but recognizing them and trying to rectify them is essential. Here are some tips to help your child in this process.
Raise awareness
Ask questions. Ask your child what happened from the beginning. Try to understand why and how it started and what led them to engage in cyberbullying. Sometimes it is to gain acceptance from a group and be popular, sometimes it is for revenge, and other times it is a symptom of a bigger issue that needs to be investigated. Give your child the chance to explain the situation from their perspective. Clearly indicate that nothing justifies such actions and that cyberbullying is unacceptable in all cases.
Help them realize the possible consequences of cyberbullying on the other person, both physical and psychological. Would they like it if the same thing were done to them? Would they like to feel as bad? How do they feel knowing they are causing great distress to the other child?
Also, make your child aware of the consequences they face as a cyberbully. Talk to them about the legal consequences of their actions and the possible disciplinary measures at school.
Prevent recurrence
Monitor their online activities. Ask for access to their social media accounts and see what they are doing. At home, as much as possible, ensure they are in a common room when using the Internet.
Consider limiting their Internet access when you are not present and possibly installing parental controls on their electronic devices and social media accounts. Monitoring software is also available.
Educate your child about healthy Internet and social media use. If you notice signs of depression or difficulties managing their emotions, seek help from professionals. Someone who engages in cyberbullying may be dealing with emotional problems or difficulties with personal and social skills.
Repair the harm done
Ask your child to remove all virtual content that constitutes cyberbullying and instruct them not to do it again. Ask them to stop communicating with the victim.
Offer to help them apologize to the person they cyberbullied if you believe they will be sincere and the other person is willing to accept the apology. Seek the assistance and advice of a school counselor for these steps.
Help them take responsibility for their actions if measures are taken against them by the school or another authority. Participate in finding a solution that will help both the child experiencing cyberbullying and your own child. An educational intervention helps the cyberbully understand the consequences of their actions, preventing them from repeating them.
In case of recurrence, consider temporarily removing their Internet access.
How to help a witness of cyberbullying
If your child witnesses cyberbullying, there are several actions they can take to help change the situation. First, they should avoid supporting the cyberbully by not reacting to their posts and avoiding sharing them. A cyberbully who sees a lack of support is less likely to continue their actions.
Support the victim and report
Your child can also offer support to the person experiencing cyberbullying and encourage them to seek help. If the victim hesitates to do so, your child can inform a trusted adult about the situation. They can also, if comfortable, publicly express their disagreement with the cyberbully’s actions or offer support to the victim. For example, they can comment on the bullying post to express opposition or write something positive about the targeted person. If other witnesses join in, the impact will be greater and easier to achieve.
Misconduct can be reported to platform administrators, but if there is a threat to the victim’s safety, such as threats or actions, they should be reported immediately to an adult and the police.
How to help a young person who sent an intimate image
Intervention in case of sharing intimate images
An image showing a minor in a sexual context is considered child pornography under the Criminal Code. If you discover that your child has shared intimate images or videos of themselves online, here is what you should do.
First, seek the assistance of the police to help manage this delicate situation. The primary goal of the intervention is the permanent removal of the images, and the police will take the necessary steps to achieve this. Make your child aware of the legal and social consequences of sending intimate images. Photos online can resurface at any time and cause harm to the person in the photo. For this reason, it is essential to think carefully before deciding to produce such images.
Securing settings and reporting
If your child has sent intimate images to a stranger, ensure that the privacy settings on their social media accounts are properly configured to prevent the stranger from accessing their follower list and personal information. If the follower list is inaccessible, it will prevent the stranger from sending the images to them. Additionally, making their follower list and personal information inaccessible will prevent the stranger from using them for blackmail purposes to obtain more images. Save your child’s exchanges with this person and their available personal information, then block them. Report the incident to the police.
Managing extortion and communication
If your child is a victim of extortion, meaning they are being blackmailed, whether for money or otherwise, to avoid having the images published online or sent to others, do not give in to the blackmail. Do not send money or more intimate images, even if requested, as this will not solve the problem. It will only lead to more demands.
Ensure that your child stops communicating with the person to whom they sent the images or videos. Disable all social media profiles your child used to communicate with them, without deleting them. Contact the police for immediate intervention.
Additional resources and support
In all cases, you can report the incident at www.cyberaide.ca. In many cases, this site can disable the accounts of individuals in possession of the child’s intimate images and offer support to the child and their family to deal with the situation.
Make copies of all exchanged messages and keep all available information about the person threatening to publish the intimate images.
If the incident occurs in a high school, the SEXTO project provides school counselors with an intervention kit to better handle sexting incidents in the school. They will work with the police to resolve the problem and try to eliminate the circulating photos.
By offering listening, advice, and appropriate intervention, parents help their child overcome a cyberbullying event. Their reassuring presence and actions are essential to protect their child, restore their confidence, and ensure their online safety.
If you need advice or support related to your situation, Tel-jeunes Parents is a free and accessible organization that offers help for parents and resources for their children. Do not hesitate to contact them.
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